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about

Buxton here. As one of those highly rare musicians who doesn't make any money at music, I support myself by writing comedy, my other major passion. Writing and marketing comedy online requires a thick skin. You are constantly exposed to intense negativity from people you will never meet face to face.

People are very brave when you can't see them, I have found.

I wrote this song after a particularly brutal day, where a user commented: "I hate everything about this article. I hope whoever wrote it gets cancer and dies."

Cool man, I'll work on that, thanks for the feedback.

After work, I dropped by Comedy Bar for rehearsal with my sketch troupe The Sketchersons, and saw that someone had vandalized one of the posters for my stand-up show, Chuckle Co. They had used push pins to poke out my eyeballs, leaving the rest of the people in the photo undisturbed.

Hence the line in the song, "These pins are perforating."

For the next little while, each time I visited the bar I would remove the pins, and the very next day, they'd be right back. Replacing the poster yielded a particularly vigorous bout of eye gouging, leaving the image in worse shape than ever, just jagged gaping holes where my eyes had been.

Hence the line, "My eyeballs are dilating."

Following some good advice from a friend, I stopped reacting to the vandalism, and got used to the hollow-eyed zombie version of myself. Perhaps even to respect his blank, vacuous stare.

I like silver linings, and for this story there are two: First, I came to realize that no one can be fulfilled by placing their well-being and self esteem in the hands of others. It doesn't matter who likes you, it matters who you like.

Second, we got a song out of it for Brunswick Project. Cheers to Crook for helping me grow a bad day into a cool tune.

lyrics

Please see me, please see me I am new
I'm new
Please like me, please like me I am you
I'm you

Bud:
These emails are circulating circulating circulating
Your name is circulating circulating circulating
Con trails evaportating vaporating vaporating

Please heal me, please heal me I am blue
I'm blue
Please please me, please please me like you do
You do

Fuck:
These pins are perforating perforating perforarting
My eyeballs are dilating dilating dilating
Con trails evaporating vaporating vaporating
My mood is syncopating syncopating syncopating

Who knows who's behind you but you go ahead
Who says we gotta do nothing but they say the tallest kid wins
Who says that it's bad to stand for something against
They say it's a dream but you don't know what it means

You don't know what it means
You don't know what it means

credits

from Brunswick Project Beta (Week 10​-​17), released December 19, 2012
Music / Lyrics: Joel Buxton
Production: Steve Cruickshank
Photography: Kayella Mackenzie

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Brunswick Project Toronto, Ontario

52 SONGS. 52 WEEKS.

Brunswick Project is weekly music release from two of Toronto's most unique voices, Steve Cruickshank and Joel Buxton

Listen for a new track on Soundcloud every Tuesday, with 8 song EPs released bi-monthly on Bandcamp. ... more

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